As an avid reader, I am extremely fond of reading in absolute silence. Distractions are hard to deal with and it’s difficult to concentrate. I stay in a building first floor, and each night when I pick up book to read there is lot of noise from watchman’s home, who stays at ground floor.
I called them once and requested them to lower their voice as I was reading.
I wasn’t aware how they are going to take this statement. It hurt them so much, that they complained against me to my bhabhi. And when she said this, it came as a shock to me.
After that, I have kept quiet and chose not to communicate to them at all. Deep inside, I must confess I was scared.
Then as a month passed, I was bearing their loud noises unable to sleep and read.
So rather than running away from situation, I thought to deal with it head on.
I went and spoke to watchman’s wife and son:
I said: “It’s everyday challenge to sleep on time, as there is lot of disturbance”
She said: “Aisa hi hai, aisa hi rahega”
I said: “See, I study, read and sleep on time as I get up at 6 am in morning”
His son interrupted: “Dekho didi, hum to aise hi rahenge, hum late sote hai late uthate hai “
I said: “you need to take care of your volume, as it cause disturbance”
She said: “Main apki complain kardungi multi mein, aapke ghar walo ko”
I looked in her eyes straight and said: “Fine, do whatever you want to do, I don’t care”
So, it often happens once we show we are scared, people would take advantage of it. Because they could see, it will affect us.
The reason it has scared me because they complain and by default it is assumed I have been wrong. No one thinks in a way that had I been a guy would they say me anything? Not really.
So, If you turn around the situation and assume, rather than me had it been my brother or any other male member, they would have not behaved this way.
It’s a pain to see when a boy becomes aggressive no one says him anything, whereas if the girl is angry people say sanskar nahi hai.
When a guy say, “I will not allow you”, it is his right over a girl. When the girl says same thing to guy, she becomes dominating.
If a guy is earning he is taking care of household expenses or is following his passion. If a girl is working hard and is following her passion, “Kamane ki jarurat kya hai, ghar grahasti dekho, kama bhi liya to kya hoga?”
So, are we born in the world to be extremely quiet, not to express our selves, not to take stand, not to be angry at all, not to move out of home, and just fulfill other’s expectation? Or we are born to create a difference, because if this is the case, we will express ourselves, we will have good and bad experiences, we would move out of our home, we would stand up for self and chose not to tolerate any nuisance happening around, and would not allow anyone else to take us for a ride.
We live in a strange society where even while dealing with drivers, watchman take us so lightly because of the image they have in their mind.
So girls and ladies, it’s high time to stand up for self. I am sure the day families start supporting their girls, things would change, and mindset would change